L'écrivain que je suis

Je viens de débuter un cours en ligne. Voilà une première ébauche. Ce matin, j'ai décidé d'écrire un tout autre texte. Pas super bon l'anglais.

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I learned English as a second language at school. The level of the courses was not enough to make us good talkers. at the end of my high-school, I could not follow a conversation written or spoken even though I was one of the best in my group. Then, I got picked to take part of a 6-week program in another part of my country, then at work. I learned so much at the time! I remember asking a friend get me some "fromage" (said with an English accent!) at the cafeteria... then finding out later that, in fact, the right word was "cheese"; we were funny!

I now give classes in my field of work: I help the learners prepare to become parents. I am a francophone who speaks English with a strong accent teaching classes in English. I know I say something the wrong way when the participants' eyes widen and angles of their eyebrows change. Trust me: at 8PM, after a day of work, words often come out laboriously and sometimes, they sound hilarious: funny use of words, or twisted expressions to say something. I often feel like giving an accidental stand-up comic show!

The people I teach to are couples, mix couples: one is francophone, the other, Anglophone. This helps me feel more relax: I know that half of the group will actually understand what I say. They just think like me: the words, syntax and grammar are the same as mine, even in English!

English allows me to travel, learn and meet people in person and through other means like Internet and my computer. I love learning from othe cultures! I love the surprise when I find out that nappy and diaper mean the same for me. Sorry: this is my daily work... I love expressions like "it's raining cats and dogs" or "snug as a bug".

I am not studying literature but I love it, use it and, sometimes get inspired by it. That is when I try to be a writer. Usually, it is not successful because I procrastinate or my brain just gets bored or tired by the challenge. I found, with time, that the incentives like a group class, time limits, other obligations, and money (when you paid for it), help me finish something.

I love writing. I have written stories. They hide somewhere in my computer or my drawers. I have written stories that made me chill and gave me the creeps while writing them! I love when my heart beats fast because of what I write. Even though I hate being scared, I love it when it is my own writing's fault.

I do not think I am a good writer. My muse often fights with my censor. I also feel there must be a better word to say what I mean to say. Sometimes, I get to use words in a way that touches people, but this rarely happens and that's OK. I would like being able to always share stories that way. Each time I start a new story, essay, or any type of text, I do not know if I will be able.

I need to write much more than I do daily... which I don't. Once in a while, I give my words to an international organization. I do the same in French. I also have two blogs... in French, of course, where I share my findings in the world of crafting and writing. In fact, these blogs are my memory book of my "cyber-finds". As this is not enough, and since I am a very curious person, I registre in free online classes in English, a second language for me. Each English text I write is a challenge for me. I see these as a practice of English writing. I think I write with so many errors related to syntax, lack of vocabulary, and poor knowledge of some grammar rules: practice makes perfect, as they say. But writing in it self, in any language is fun and helps me deepen ideas and knowledge.

I put other activities before writing. I always fight with myself to put writing ahead and in front. The more I think of me as a writer, the more I see myself as a procrastinator. Well, I behave like one. As soon as it starts to be easy, and boring, and/or challenging, here I am, switching to another activity. It looks like my challenge will always be to finish it, just like any crafting project. Up to the last sentence, the last word of the last period. In itself, it is a big challenge because of who I am and how I am, here and now, in my life.

My curiosity makes me the writer I am today; like a butterfly, I go from one interest to another... good in a lot of things but not a pro in anything. Same thing with the writer I am. My love of reading makes me write. I probably write better texts now because of all the reads. My love of stories, inspiration from these readings make me write. I am challenged by my temperament. I am not a writer but a person trying to use words to share her thoughts, to feel the joy and strong emotions while inventing them. I try many things and who does not always finishes the written ones. But since I love surprises, learning, feeling my heart beating faster because of my imagination, I will keep on writing for as long as I can.
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le final... ici

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